The Worst Kind of Monsters Read online

  He nodded.

  I shut off the chainsaw and tossed it to the side, “I’ll double that if you stay and work for me. All I ask is that you show me the ropes of this business. Get me up to speed on running the site, who the contacts are, how you guys scope out the victims. If you do that, I’ll give you four grand a shoot. Each. I know you’re probably shocked I just cut your boss’ head off, but I promise you don’t have to worry about me…acting out again. That was a necessary action I needed to make in order to get my foot in the door. So what do you say? Are you ready to help me build the most successful snuff site on the deep web?”

  They two men looked at each other and I saw a silent conversation pass between their eyes. After a second, they turned back to me.

  “We’re in.”

  I smiled. “Fantastic.”

  I turned around and walked to the man in the chair. He had been silent throughout the whole ordeal, but now that my attention was on him, he began to whimper, unsure of what I had in store for him. I squatted down in front of him and looked up into his eyes. He was probably thirty-five, a good-looking guy with short brown hair. I reached up and placed my hand over his chest, causing him to cry out and squirm away from my touch.

  “Your heart is beating so fast,” I said softly. I reached up and pulled the gag from his mouth. The man gasped in lungfuls of air and ran his tongue over his teeth, grateful to be free of the cloth.

  “Please, I’ll do whatever you want, please don’t kill me,” he bumbled, fresh tears pouring from his eyes.

  I pinched his cheek and smiled. “Don’t worry, buddy, it’s your lucky day. You’re old product, a relic from previous management. I have no use for you.”

  I paused, “Unless…” I cocked my head. “Unless you want to come work for me?”

  His eyes grew wide and I could tell he was struggling to find an answer that wouldn’t end in bloodshed.

  I shook my head, “Ah, forget it. Don’t worry about it. You’re not cut out for this kind of life. Go home, you’re free to leave.” I reached into my shoe and retrieved the knife from under my foot. I cut the man’s ropes and pulled him from the chair.

  I dug into my pocket and fished out my wallet. I handed the man two hundred dollars in twenties and told him to give it to the driver who was waiting upstairs.

  “Tell him to take you home. Tell him it’s The Boss’ orders.”

  The man looked at me like he couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t blame the poor bastard.

  “Can I trust you’ll keep this between us?” I said, leaning toward the man. “You’re not going to go to the police about this little misunderstanding, are you?”

  He shook his head violently.

  “Good, now get out of here,” I said, pushing him toward the stairs. As I watched him go, I felt a calm settle over me.

  This is where I was supposed to be. This is what I was supposed to be doing. I felt that familiar darkness stir inside of me and flow down my body and out my fingertips, finally free after years of suppression. I was finally whole. I was finally being honest with myself and it felt incredible. I felt like I could finally breathe after years of suffocation.

  I had a lot to learn, a dangerous and haunting road ahead of me. I had taken a huge risk doing what I did, but a necessary one. Before I came to this place, I had made up my mind that I was going to try to take over this business. My hunger of late had grown to a point of uncontrollable lust and I knew this was the only way I could live with it. I knew I could create something truly vicious given the opportunity. I was nervous, yes, but I was ready for it, excited to take the first steps in my new life. I was determined to build the most successful snuff site the Internet had ever seen. I was going to revolutionize the word “torture.” I was going to bring new meaning to murder. I was going to build a kingdom around me, a kingdom I would rule.

  I was going to build an empire of death.

  4

  The Goat Room

  My phone buzzed in my pocket. I reached for it, only half-listening to the sales meeting I was in. My boss was rattling on, stressing about how we needed to push numbers, increase our revenue, the usual slog. The other eight salesmen around the table looked as bored as I did, staring with half-lidded eyes, mouths slightly ajar. We heard the same pitch every year and honestly we were tired of it. If someone was dead-set against buying, there was literally nothing we could do about it.

  I loosened my tie and checked my phone under the table. The number was blocked. My heart skipped a beat. Could this be?

  It was a text. It read: Congratulations, you’ve been accepted.

  I wanted to jump up and pump my fist into the air, excitement rising in my chest like lava from a volcano. I couldn’t believe it. After all this time, I had finally done it. After all my hard work and dedication, all those times I went the extra mile and thought no one noticed, it felt good to know it was all worth something. It felt great. The possibilities this would open up, the life it could lead to…it was everything I had ever wanted.

  I shot a glance at my boss at the head of the room (still rambling and pointing to a pie chart on the projector) and quickly sent a message back:

  When do I start?

  I placed the phone on my leg, drumming the tabletop as I waited for an answer. I forced myself to breathe. I felt like I could burst for joy. I was tempted to give my coworkers the finger and walk out of the meeting, but I resisted. I could stay professional about this. I wanted to call my wife and tell her the good news. She would be so proud of me. And the kids!? Wait until they heard what a hotshot their old man was about to become!

  I was so proud of myself. I was setting such a good example for my family. I was really doing this. And to think they picked ME?! I couldn’t help but smile thinking about it. I always knew that I would make something of myself some day. And my time had come.

  My phone buzzed again and I quickly checked the reply text:

  We start tonight. Meet at Quincy Office at 8 PM for orientation. Feel free to bring your family. And well done!

  I felt like I could die with excitement. Tonight!? My guts bubbled and I shifted in my seat. There was so much to think about, so much to prepare. I thought about what lie ahead of me and worms worked their way into my stomach. Starting something new was always nerve-wracking, but I had wanted this for so long!

  I pulled up my wife’s number and sent her a quick text, not able to help myself:

  They chose me!!!!! Orientation is tonight at 8! U and the kids can come! SO EXCITED!!!

  The finality of it hit me then. Something about sharing the news with my wife made it real. This was really happening. I was really going to do this. Our lives were about to change forever. I was about to lead my family into the next tier of class. People would respect us, look up to us even, and say, “Wow, good for you, you really stuck with it and it paid off.”

  I stood up suddenly, pocketing my phone. My boss and fellow salesmen looked up at me, eyebrows cocked. I looked around at their washed-out faces, almost feeling sympathy. How many of these poor saps would die at this job? How many of them had already settled into the monotony of what their lives had become? That’s what separated myself from them. I strove to do great things, I pushed myself and walked that extra mile. I had passions, fire in my chest.

  “Do…you want to say something, Thomas?”

  I blinked at my boss, staring down the long table at his expectant face. I almost started laughing. I couldn’t help it. Suddenly this job seemed hilarious. Suddenly being in this room and listening to my boss give me a pep talk was comical. This guy really thought what he was saying was important! HA! As if, right?! The urgency of which he stressed bumping our numbers, the way he shook his finger at us…why, it was a real gut-buster!

  “Thomas?” he called to me, finger hovering over the all-important pie chart.

  I looked around at everyone, a small smile planted on my lips, “Uh…” I snorted, shaking my head, “Uh, I think I’m done here, guys. It’s been a real pl
easure, but, uh,” I started laughing, not able to hold it in any longer, “but I got better things lined up! Take care now, you hear?” And with that, I marched myself out the door, followed by shocked stares.

  When I got home, my wife met me at the door with a big hug and a sparkling smile. She told me she had left work as soon as she got my message. She was beaming, ushering me inside and taking my coat, compliments bubbling from her lips. She told me she was just so proud of me and all the hard work I had put into this. She told me I was special, that she had always known I was, and finally other people had noticed.

  I asked her where the kids were, smiling myself, the excitement and rush still fueling my emotions. She told me they were at school, but she had called the principal and notified her that she needed to pull them early. They would be excited, too; I just knew they would. I asked her when she was going to pick them up, and she said soon.

  “What should I wear tonight? Are we going to be there for the whole orientation? Will they let us stay?” she asked, running into the bedroom and pulling out dresses from the closet.

  I shrugged, grinning like an idiot. “I don’t know, hun. I guess we’ll find out.”

  She spun around, a small blue dress pressed to her frame. “How’s this? Is this good? Oh, Thomas, I’m just so happy I could burst!” She ran over to me giggling and kissed me, her arms around my neck. She looked up into my eyes, admiration shining from her own.

  “Can I tell everyone?”

  I laughed. “They’ll all be at orientation! You can tell them then before we start! You know how these things go; we’ve been to enough of them, right?”

  She smiled, a picture of beauty from ear to ear. “I know, I know, it’s just so wonderful!”

  I smiled back at her. “Good things are happening to us, baby; stick with me and you’ll go places.”

  She kissed me again and then looked up at me, her face serious. “Are you nervous? Are you going to be OK?”

  I was nervous. I was really nervous. But it was the good kind, the churning anticipation of just wanting to get to it.

  “I’m fine, honey,” I said reassuringly. “I’ve waited a long time for this. It’s what I’ve always wanted. It’s what I want for our family. I want our kids to look back and say, ‘My dad really made something of himself.’ I want a better life for you, for us.” I hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head. “It’s going to be a good night.”

  We picked up the kids together, my two boys, from their middle school. They climbed into the back seat, positively beaming that they had gotten a half-day. I wanted to take them out, have some fun, celebrate.

  As my wife pulled the car out of the school parking lot, I leaned over my seat, grinning, and looked at my children.

  “I bet you guys are wondering why you got to leave school early.” I couldn’t help but feel a little smug. They weren’t going to believe this.

  They both shook their heads.

  “Well,” I said, folding my hands, “Your ol’ dad is going to ORIENTATION tonight! I’ve been accepted! Isn’t that great, kids?”

  Both my son’s mouths dropped in unison, followed shortly by whoops of excitement. I laughed and clapped my hands, enjoying their reaction to the news.

  “Do we get to go?!” my eldest asked.

  I nodded, “You sure do. All of you get to go.”

  Well, that did it. They screamed, the hype just too much. I laughed until tears rolled down my face, watching the delight ripple across their faces like shock waves. It’s wonderful to have kids. Often times they say or react in the ways adults aren’t allowed.

  Finally, I raised my hands and told them to settle down, still wiping the tears from my eyes. I told them we were going to have a family day of fun to celebrate and then after that, I was taking them to dinner. More eruptions of joy followed (along with a few “this is the best day EVERs”) and I chuckled again, asking them what they would like to do first.

  After some discussion and negotiation among my family, we decided that we were going to go to the movies. After that, it was off to our favorite burger joint for dinner and milkshakes.

  In truth, I was grateful to fill my day with activities. It’d take my mind off the hours between now and 8 PM. I felt like if I didn’t do something to pass the time, I’d explode with anticipation. I just wanted it to be time already and start this amazing new phase of my life. I wanted to get to that moment where I could look at my family and say, “Guys, I did it.”

  We spent the afternoon in the movie theater, slurping down overpriced soda and munching on stale popcorn. It was awesome. During the movie I would catch my wife looking at me, her face lit by the large screen. I’d look back at her and wink, both of us sharing a loving smile. I could tell just how much this meant to her, how much she appreciated me in that moment.

  After the movie, I wiped butter from my kids’ fingers and ushered them back to the car. Despite having just consumed a barrel of popcorn, my sons moaned that they were sta-a-a-arving! Having not eaten but a few kernels myself, I was glad to hear it. I checked my watch and saw that we had two hours before we had to be at the Quincy office.

  We drove across town, our ride filled with commentary about the movie we had just seen. (My sons loved it; my wife, not so much.) I argued with my oldest about some of the plot points, goading him a little bit just because I was in such a good mood. My wife shook her head, smiling to herself and enjoying the positive energy that sparked around us.

  Thirty minutes later, I pulled into the restaurant and parked. Already shouting out what they wanted to eat, the boys bounded from the car. I opened my door and got out, telling them to settle down, that the burgers weren’t going anywhere.

  As I watched my wife follow our kids, it hit me like a shotgun blast.

  You’re going to the Goat Room tonight.

  I bent over, suddenly in need of air, and sucked in the evening sky. I blinked a few times, clearing my head, the realization crippling my mind. I pulled in another couple breaths and chuckled. The gravity of the night before me was astounding.

  At that moment, I felt like the luckiest guy in the world.

  I looked up and saw my wife calling me, asking if I was OK. I straightened and gave her a thumbs-up and a big smile. I walked to them at the front of the restaurant, taking in my surroundings, letting the setting sun cast its warm rays across my face. What a time to be alive.

  We got a booth and ordered our food (I got my usual Buffalo Burger), watching the day fade into night through the windows.

  We chomped through the patties, my kids devouring theirs with alarming speed, and I ordered us all a round of milkshakes (as promised). I didn’t think they needed any more sugar buzzing through their system, but what the heck; we were celebrating, weren’t we?

  As I watched my youngest slurp down the last of his frothy treat, I wiped his face with a napkin and checked my watch. My eyes met my wife’s and I nodded to her.

  “You ready?”

  I paid the bill and herded my family back to the car. From the restaurant, it was only a ten-minute drive to the Quincy office. As the night blurred past the windows, I felt myself grow quiet. My wife seemed to notice and did her best to shush the kids. She knew I needed some serenity, the weight of the evening approaching fast. She squeezed my arm and offered me a smile. I returned it and focused on the road. I was grateful for her support, grateful for my wonderful family.

  “You doing OK?” she asked quietly.

  I nodded. “Better than ever. This is just a big step for us, you know? It’s a lot to take in.”

  She squeezed my arm again. “You know how proud the kids and I are of you, right?”

  I glanced in the mirror at my sons (now with their phones out), and peace came over me. One of the biggest fears of a father is to fail his family. I knew I would never have to worry about that again. I had done it. I had taken the final step to ensure a good life for them, a comfortable life. Knowing that, I gripped the steering wheel a little harder a
nd grinned.

  We pulled into the Quincy office, its many floors towering above the parking lot. I found us a spot and noticed a few familiar faces already entering the building. The kids took notice as well and began to unbuckle and call out to their friends. I let them go, turning the car off and smiling as they raced to their buddies.

  The cool night air tickled my skin and I felt a kind of euphoric awe settle over me as I got out of the car. I walked around to my wife, taking her hand in mine. As we walked inside, we waved to the Parkers and Kleins, both of whom had just arrived.

  The interior of the building was air-conditioned and I nodded my hello to the security guard at the front desk. My wife signed us in (she always insisted on being the one to sign us in) and we went to the elevator. There was already a small crowd gathered around them, all waiting to ascend. I spotted my kids excitedly talking to their friends and I guessed they were already spilling the news.

  Troy saw me and made his way over to us. He shook my hand and exclaimed, “Thomas, I heard your kids talking, I heard YOU got the promotion! Is it true?”

  My wife answered before I could, admiration lacing her words. “It sure is, Troy; I always knew he’d get it one day. He’s such a dedicated man, how could he NOT get it?”

  I blushed as Troy slapped me on the back and congratulated me. He called his own family over and told them the news, earning me another round of thumbs-up and courteous congrats. At that point, the news was spreading around the lobby and I was suddenly assaulted by a barrage of handshakes and hugs from all our friends and acquaintances. They all wished me luck and I detected notes of jealousy from more than one of them.

  Finally, we piled into the elevators and pushed the button to take us to the top. The whole way up I got slaps on the back and smiles, an endless stream of affirmation. It was a good feeling, a great feeling. I looked at my kids and saw their eyes glowing with respect for their ol’ dad. I reached out and ruffled their hair.